Pleasure + Work = Magic (Yes It Is Possible!)
Client Q: How can I incorporate pleasure in my work day, and why is it important?
I received this great question from a client recently, and I’m sharing some thoughts here because I know many of you are wondering similar things!
The Myth That Productivity = Success
One of the shadows of the patriarchal system that’s existed on this planet for the last few thousand years is the myth of constant productivity and expansion.
In it’s exalted state, the masculine energetic is amazing at moving us from point A to point B in a structured, systematic, linear, purpose driven way. It’s what allows us to get shit done. Our healthy masculine holds a conscious awareness of the big picture, where we are headed, what direction to go in to get there, and what decisive actions need to be taken.
The shadow side of this masculine directionality is the glorification of productivity above all else, to the point that anything not moving forward + producing more and better at all times is unsuccessful. It’s less worthy, good, or valuable.
We’ve all been marinated in this narrative since we were children, especially if you live in a western culture. It’s one of the biggest myths that stands in the way of us accessing more of our pleasure capacity.
Pleasure is not always productive!
Pleasure in and of itself is not linear or goal oriented. Often it’s not productive at all, at least not in a directly obvious way. But that doesn’t make it less valuable.
So the first dragon we must slay if we desire to access pleasure more fully is this idea that our worth depends on our productivity, and that constant expansion is the only measure of success.
The second dragon is the idea that work and pleasure are separate things.
In our over-culture, work is work. It can sometimes be enjoyable but mostly it’s WORK. And pleasure is something that happens after work. On the weekends, or on lunch break.
As embodied women, we know that we are holographic, and what’s happening in one area of our life is happening in other areas as well. If our work is dry and tedious and devoid of pleasure, we are likely feeling that permeating our lives in other ways.
We also know that, as sovereign beings, we have agency and choice in what we desire to embody and cultivate. This means that we can choose to be in devotion to pleasure, and to have a bigger experience of pleasure in our lives… or not.
And we do have to be purposeful about cultivating pleasure, because the world is not set up to prioritize it.
Sure, there are endless quick-fixes available: shopping, tik tok videos, donuts, tv, porn, and all manner of hyper- stimulations. But we know deep down that those are really just pulling us away from truly deep, soul nourishing, embodied pleasure.
We must reclaim our bodies and our pleasure if we are to rewrite this narrative.
Pleasure is of the body - in particular, of the feminine body, and the feminine energetic, irrespective of gender. The feminine heart in all beings craves more aliveness, more pleasure, and more love.
Turning up our pleasure capacity also requires a couple reframes in how we define and think about pleasure.
>>Pleasure doesn’t exist only in the bedroom. Sensuality doesn’t necessarily mean sexuality. Pleasure is unfolding all around us, available to be experienced in big and small ways, in every moment. Yes, even when we feel pain… or have to work!
>>Pleasure also isn’t just a “reward” that comes after you put in the work. Raise your hand if you are carrying this story in your body: you have to do “good” or be “good” to get rewarded with something pleasurable.
>>Pleasure isn’t even something you have to DO. Pleasure itself isn’t something external to you that you tick off your list.
Pleasure Reframe #1
Your experience of pleasure happens within your body. It’s something that arises from your being. And as such, it’s something you can access at any time.
Pleasure Reframe #2
We can expand our definition of pleasure to encompass the felt sense of aliveness and vitality in the body. The feeling of life force energy, shakti, chi, kundalini - the undulating currents of life itself moving through you. This is a much more expansive definition of pleasure.
So how does this relate to your work?!
When we are talking about work, there’s always going to be a big dose of masculine purposeful direction, structure, and strategy. Even if you work in the more feminine realms, like I do as a Feminine Embodiment Coach, you still need to get shit done: send emails, plan things, move from point A to point B, bookkeeping, etc.
Leading from the feminine in your work means tapping into depth first, and then direction.
It means you first begin with the feminine depth - your desire, what phase of your cycle you’re in, your pleasure, what wants to be born from you (your creative energy). And then moving into directionality - the masculine force, structure, and linear purpose.
Your Embodied To Do List begins with your inner landscape: your cycle phase, your energy, and maybe even the moon phase and the season of the year. This answers the question: how is your energy and what is it suited for this week?
From there, your feminine depth informs what wants to be birthed from you. What creative projects need your energy. What life is asking of you.
And then, equally as important, your feminine depth holds the resonance of what you desire from life this week. What your desire and pleasure would have you do.
Once you know that depth, then you can figure out how to plan out your week to make sure your masculine structure and directionality is honoring your feminine depth - your energetic strengths, your creativity, your pleasure, and your desires.
We could go deep into any of these aspects of your feminine depth, but right now we will just focus on pleasure!
What would pleasure have you do?
When you’re planning out your week and feeling into this question, there are three main areas to consider:
Planning some pleasure highlights for the week that you desire that are unrelated to your work. This could be anything that feels good for you. For example, perhaps you’re craving more time in nature so you plan to go hiking. Maybe you want to bake with your kids. Maybe you want to lay in the sun, schedule a date, swim in the ocean, or book a massage. Remember we have to be purposeful about creating these pockets of pleasure or else life will pull us away from this devotion. There’s ALWAYS going to be more to do, so we need to schedule and plan for our pleasure in order to keep prioritizing it.
How can you infuse your doing with more pleasure and aliveness? This could apply to your work or anything else you have to do (eg. folding laundry). This could even include things that are already pleasurable (how could it be more pleasurable?). Just considering your work, though, ask yourself, how can you infuse your work time with more pleasure? This might look like working outside on a nice day, having a delicious hot tea as you answer emails, burning a candle or some essential oils, a blanket or slippers that feel really good, or playing some beautiful music. How can you invite in a bigger experience of pleasure while you’re working?
Looking at your work holistically, what are the aspects of your work you really enjoy and find pleasure in doing? How can you create space to do more of those, while minimizing the things you don’t like to do? Maybe you love writing or creating, or interacting with clients. But accounting is something you don’t find enjoyable at all. In what ways can you outsource, or get support with, the things you don’t like, so you can prioritize time and space to do more of the things you love. Because that is where the greatest magic and the most powerful transmission lies in your work: when you are in flow, doing what you love to do.
Why should you live in devotion to your pleasure, particularly when it comes to your work?
Focusing on pleasure in this way adds dimension, texture, and richness to your work and your life. Pleasure brings that special nuanced quality of depth and sensuality to life that makes it worth living.
Not only does it mean your experience of life is more rich and vibrantly alive, but your pleasure is also the source of your greatest creativity. It’s the source of your best, most powerful transmission into the world. Your most exceptional gifts flow when you are activated and alive with that radiant life force energy.
In my experience, even though pleasure is non-linear and not goal oriented, making pleasure a devotion actually results in greater productivity. I feel more creative and inspired, and my work tends to flow better and seem easier when I’m regularly cultivating my pleasure.
Now I want to hear from you! What is your experience with pleasure, especially as it relates to work? What is your pleasure calling for this week?
Is it something big like a date night? Or perhaps you’re inspired to infuse your work hours with more pleasure? Or maybe you desire to rethink how you approach the work you do in order to prioritize pleasure more?
And finally, what happens when you focus more on your pleasure? Try it and find out. And then send me an email and let me know. I’d love to hear from you!
