5 Signs That You're Dis-Embodied

We’re all embodied, of course… we all inhabit a body. It’s not possible to be completely disembodied, just like it’s not possible to be perfectly embodied all of the time. We’re all moving in and out of embodied states as we go through life.

But our modern life predisposes us to disembodiment as a default.

We’re taught that logic and the mind are supreme.

Especially as women, we are taught that our bodies are dangerous, chaotic, and not to be trusted, so why would we go deeper into them?

If you’re wondering if you might be living disembodied, here are 5 common signs, as well as what embodied living looks like!

1. You “can’t get out of your head.”

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard this, I could finally retire to Bermuda! The modern woman recognizes that this state of being “in her head” isn’t serving her on some level. But most have no idea how to stop or how else to be. When you’re in your head, you’re typically in a very masculine “doing” state where the energy is going up to your head and extremities, and out into the world. Our fast-paced culture that is hyper-focused on productivity keeps us in this state. Sitting for long periods and staring at screens also leads to stagnant energy in our bellies, hips, and pelvis.

2. You’re confused about what you want or how to get it.

Quite often when we’re talking about major life decisions there is a lot of fear. When we are disembodied we can’t access our inner knowing. We find ourselves lost in mental analysis, spiraling around and around with what-ifs and playing out possible scenarios. All this uncertainty stems from self-doubt, and breeds more of it. Sometimes all this thinking can be a distraction from more tender truths at your deepest heart.

3. You’re exhausted and overcommitted.

I’m sure you know what it’s like! You don’t have time to take care of yourself because you’re taking care of everyone and everything else. When you’re disembodied it’s all too easy to put yourself last. You might even feel guilt or fear about drawing any boundaries or saying no. I’ve been there: my self-worth hinged on the sacrifices I made for others. I dishonored myself and my boundaries. And it reflected in every area of my life – from my relationships and parenting, to my work.

4. You feel shut down or numb.

Numbness is a classic sign of disembodiment… if you aren’t inhabiting your physical body, you can’t FEEL. This isn’t your fault. Sometimes there is a history of trauma that makes feeling the body feel unsafe. Sometimes it’s because we are conditioned to avoid feeling uncomfortable sensations like anger or sadness, so we begin to turn down the volume on our sensitivity and we get used to existing in a more narrow band. Sometimes we just lack the awareness of what is happening, or the skills to shift our experience.

5. You feel dry or flat, or lacking in pleasure.

When the volume is turned down on our sensitivity to discomfort due to trauma or habit or conditioning, it’s also turned down on our sensitivity to pleasure. Particularly when all of the above are also factoring in, pleasure can often be the last thing we are thinking of. It can feel difficult or even impossible to access. When we can’t fully feel our bodies, we can’t fully feel our pleasure. When we’re stuck in our head and exhausted or overcommitted we can’t feel our pleasure. When we don’t even know what we desire, we’re left with unfulfilling pleasures that don’t deeply nourish our heart and soul.

What does becoming embodied look like?

If you see yourself in any of these signs, don’t despair. With awareness you can begin to step into a more embodied way of being.

++When we are embodied, we know we can source trust, permission, and power inside ourselves. It doesn’t come from outside sources.

++We know how to meet the layers of tender emotion to get to our own authentic truth and inner clarity.

++Becoming more embodied means developing a deep sense of self-worth.

++It means being able to FEEL our yes/no moment to moment. And it means having the confidence to act on it with compassion.

++It means being able to have a greater impact on everyone in our sphere of influence because our well is full.

++When we become more embodied we are able to embrace our imperfections because we are in tune with the truth of our deepest selves: that we are whole and worthy just as we are. From this springs a radical self-love that honors our bodies, our boundaries, and our selves.

++When we become more embodied, our desires become a source of creativity and inspiration. We are able to receive more, because we know we can receive as deeply as we give to ourselves.

++Becoming more embodied means we bring the energy down out of our heads and into our bodies, into our base and our roots. We naturally have to slow way down. We may need to recalibrate our nervous system. And our priorities! But this is where our pleasure lives. This is where we access our creativity, our flow, and our feminine power!