The biggest lie about feeling good...

Let me tell you something radical and surprising… the point is not to feel good and be happy all the time.

Say what?!

I know that might sound surprising, especially if you’ve followed me for a minute and know my mantra is devotion to PLEASURE in the body! 

I want to clear up any confusion about this right now. There is a very common perspective out there that the goal (of life, of personal growth, of spirituality…) is to be happy and feel good.

In fact, if you’re not happy, there’s probably something wrong with you or your approach… you’re probably not meditating enough, you’re not going deep enough, you still have more “healing” to do, you need to think more positively, you need more rose quartz.  

You’re not trying hard enough. 

 Or you just haven’t found the right combination of sage, mantra, crystals or affirmations that will unlock your happiness and fulfillment.

Let me give you permission right now to let go of all that spiritual bypassing because it’s just not the truth.

The point of all this is not to be happy and feel good all the time. 

So much of personal growth promises that the more conscious, enlightened, and spiritual you become, the less challenge or negativity you will face. That’s not how this works. 

The bigger your experience of success, love, pleasure, and happiness; the bigger your experience of challenges will be: the more complex your relating, the more deeply you will confront shadow, the greater the potential for pain.

We live on a polarity planet. This physical realm is characterized by polarity, and everything has its opposite pole. From yin/yang, to light/dark, to pain/pleasure, and a million more examples. 

I choose to teach from a lens of pleasure as an entry point for a number of reasons. But NOT because the goal is to only feel pleasure. It’s because quite often it’s more challenging for people to access and expand their experience of pleasure because of the layers of conditioning and past experiences that are blocking us from tapping into our true pleasure potential.

A “negativity bias” might even be built into our biology because it helps us stay safe and alive if we’re easily able to see where there are dangers and what might go wrong. It’s also super common to get stuck in negativity loops where we are doing things that don’t make us feel good out of habit – sometimes unconsciously – because it’s safe and easy and familiar. 

So teaching pleasure & magnetism can be an avenue into personal growth. Shake things loose, and let some air and sunlight in the windows. There are many paths, but we might as well travel with the wind in our hair singing at the top of our lungs and devoting ourselves to life as sensual goddesses, no? 

But it’s a huge misunderstanding that the point is never to feel bad. The point is not even necessarily to feel less bad. I know, this sounds bananas but hear me out. 

The point of this work is to embrace ALL OF YOU. Your joy is not “better” or more valuable than your pain. They are both part of your full spectrum technicolor human experience. 

So often we do not want to meet our pain, in any flavor. We avoid, we numb, we distract. We settle for good enough just to get out of the discomfort of loneliness, yearning, waiting, and wondering if the RIGHT thing is on its way. 

And when we numb our pain, we turn down the volume on ALL of our sensations.

We start existing in a little narrow range of sensation and emotion.

If you’re in a human body, you are going to experience pain, sorrow, uncertainty, grief, and fear. I’m telling you the medicine is in embracing ALL of that. All of YOU.

When you can open wide to the depth of all the parts of you, you also open the aperture on your ecstatic joy and pleasure. You become more powerful. 

You don’t have to keep trying to put lipstick on your pain with positive affirmations and changing your mindset. Your power lies in opening yourself to FEEL the full spectrum of your human experience. And letting your actions arise from that place of depth. Often pain and discomfort can sharpen and clarify our perspective – propel us forward; show us what needs to change.

You don’t need “fixing.” Can you see how disempowering and problematic this idea is? How it disconnects you from your truth?

You don’t need more crystals or mantras … and don’t get me wrong, I love crystals and mantras!

The point of this work is to embrace the truth that you are enough. That your essential authentic self is whole and complete and worthy. 

Open yourself to the truth of your whole, worthy, and empowered self underneath it all. 

Learn to feel your pain more fully so you can feel your LIFE more fully.

So you can feel other people more fully. So you can see the truth of your enoughness. So you can move forward into action fueled by the depth of your full, authentic self.

If you want to embrace your authentic truth and your full spectrum of sensation, book a no-pressure call with me and let’s chat. All my coaching is personalized and curated to your needs, desires and goals. And it’s not about sugarcoating with love and light. It is about depth and authenticity, creating a bigger experience of life, and even having some fun along the way.