The Biggest Myths About Being "Feminine"

Artwork By Rassouli

When I say “feminine” does it make you wonder if you will need to wear a flowy skirt, flowers, or lace? Does it make you think of being more demure, or having to be sexy and wear lingerie? 

Is Feminine Embodiment only for cis women?

Am I anti-feminist? Are we undoing generations of liberation? Just what exactly are we talking about here?!

We need to have a conversation about what “feminine” and “masculine” mean in the context of embodiment.

Masculine & Feminine Energetics

This is a nuanced topic, especially in this time of shifting gender roles and identities. On the surface it might seem like “Feminine Embodiment” is exclusive to women. 

That is absolutely not true!

I want to take a minute to explain this concept and dispel that myth and several others about what “Feminine” means.

My audience is generally womxn and femme-identified. But when I speak about “masculine” and “feminine” in the context of embodiment, I am referring to energetic principles that apply to every human, irrespective of gender. 

It doesn’t matter whether you identify as a cis man or woman, trans, gender non-binary, or any other identity, every human contains and has access to the FULL spectrum of energetic possibilities from feminine to masculine within us. 

As a womxn or femme, you might identify more strongly with the feminine because you have a primarily feminine energetic core. But you are able to access the full spectrum of masculine energetics as well, and you probably are in the masculine quite often day to day. In the same way, someone with a masculine energetic core will also quite often be in the feminine.

Masculine & Feminine Polarity

We live on a planet of polarity where opposing forces exist in varying degrees of balance and harmony. Light and dark. North and south. Creation and destruction. Fire and ice. Jedi and Sith.

In Eastern traditions these energetics are sometimes referred to as Yin and Yang, or Shiva and Shakti. They are opposing aspects of the life force energy that permeates everything. 

The Feminine Energetic

The feminine (yin or shakti) energetic principles are flow, emotion, love, chaos, creativity and destruction, and all the powerful forces of life moving through everything.

Think of the jungle or the tsunami. Mother nature is a perfect archetype of the feminine. She includes all the wild aspects of nature from birth to death, summer to winter, jungle to desert and everything in between. 

In relation to embodiment, the realms of sensual feeling, flowing emotion and sensation are the domain of the feminine. Your creativity, desires, pleasure, magnetism, receptivity, feelings, and sensuality, are all a part of Feminine Embodiment. This is such a rich area for personal growth and untapped potential for so many.

The Masculine Energetic

The masculine (yang or shiva) energetic principles are consciousness, awareness, freedom, structure, goal driven purpose, and linear direction.

Think of the renunciate meditating silently on a mountain, or the mountain itself.

Conscious awareness is the heart of the masculine energetic principle. That is why seated meditation is one of the most masculine practices you can do; and why I teach a dynamic moving meditation focused on feeling as part of Feminine Embodiment. 

As humans, we embody the full spectrum of these energetic possibilities – from masculine awareness and structure to feminine flow, and everything in between. 

Why you need Feminine Embodiment

If you are a womxn or femme, you may identify strongly with feminine energetic principles. However, you may or may not be able to easily access your feminine gifts. 

In fact, many womxn today are actually undeveloped in their FEMININE because we live in such a hyper-masculine, patriarchal culture where masculine traits, skills, and abilities have been prized and prioritized, and feminine traits have been seen as less-than. 

But living primarily in the masculine energy can be utterly exhausting to a person with a feminine energetic core.

So many of us have woken up to this fact after experiencing burn out, overwhelm, dry or empty feeling lives, exhaustion, anxiety and more. But most of us don’t know what the problem is or how to fix it! 

If you’re an ambitious woman who’s in charge of things (career or family), who’s used to taking care of and managing everything herself, who kicks ass and takes names, you can probably relate to that!

You may be well-skilled in your masculine, but experiencing symptoms of overwhelm, emptiness, lack of pleasure, anxiety, etc. because this state of being in the masculine constantly is draining for your feminine energetic being.

Working with the feminine in embodiment

When I work with womxn in Feminine Embodiment coaching, we are re-learning, remembering, and cultivating our feminine gifts, which have been suppressed and repressed in the shadow of patriarchy for so long that it’s hard for many of us to access them at first.

We engage in practice to strengthen our connection to these aspects of ourselves, and to stay connected to the truth of our deepest heart. 

When we tap into our true feminine power, our lives flourish in so many ways we couldn’t have dreamed of before. We can create abundant and impactful lives through our sensuality, pleasure, and flow. We can learn to live from our bodies, hearts, and souls into our most creative, happy, and successful selves.

Feminine & Masculine Harmony

But it’s not enough to awaken to our feminine gifts. We must also have a healthy relationship with our inner masculine.

Quite often womxn have a lot of baggage and shadow around the masculine due to generations of patriarchal repression, misogyny, sexual abuse, absent fathers, and cultural programming. (Men and masculine-identified also have this shadow, it just manifests differently.)

We (all humans) need to heal and integrate at the level of the body to fully embody a healthy masculine and feminine. This is necessary for our feminine and masculine to come into harmony.

Our masculine creates the structure, presence, and container that allows our feminine to flow and play in fullness and trust. Otherwise our feminine energy would spill out everywhere like water on glass. And without the feminine, the masculine would be devoid of depth, pleasure, sensation, and meaning.

Breaking down the biggest myths about what it means to be feminine

MYTH: Feminine means flowing skirts and flowers.

FALSE! In the context of embodiment, “feminine” refers to all of the sensual feeling, flowing emotions and sensations that are present in our bodies. Creativity, desire, pleasure, magnetism, receptivity, and sensuality are all the domain of the feminine.

MYTH: Feminine embodiment is only for cis women. 

FALSE! Accessing feminine energies is available for EVERYONE, and really, anyone interested in embodiment should be practiced in feminine embodiment because it’s important for our inner masculine and feminine to harmonize.

MYTH: Feminine people are softer, weaker, more demure, giving, compliant, or sweet. 

FALSE! This characterization of the feminine is a SHADOW of patriarchal conditioning that for too long has told us that the feminine is less-than. In truth, the feminine can be soft and sweet, but she can also be a raging fire that destroys an entire forest. She can be the roots of a tree that burst up through layers of concrete. She can be a powerful hurricane. Her power is no less than the masculine, it just manifests differently in its highest form, when it’s not squeezed into a box trying to mimic masculine power. PS: You don’t need to wear a skirt! #liberatedfeminine

MYTH: The masculine (patriarchy, etc) is “the problem” and we need to get rid of it. 

FALSE! We need a healthy balance of masculine and feminine to live out the highest destiny of our incarnations! Our healthy masculine creates structures that honor our feminine. Developing this kind of harmony takes practice and devotion.

Let’s explore these topics more deeply together. Book a free mini-session with me to get a taste what it means to embody the feminine!